Maybe you're here because you're going to be or supposed to be a 2020 bride or groom. Maybe you're supposed to be a guest at a wedding this year. Maybe you're just here because you're bored. Either way, I look at it as more proof that no one is going through this year totally alone.

For the people who planned on getting married in 2020- you're definitely not alone. Not only do we have five people in our office who were supposed to get married this year, I was supposed to go to 13 weddings in 2020. So far, I've been to zero. It hurts me that so many people are so sad about having to have this big dreamy day altered, but after I decided to postpone my wedding for more than a year, I have some thoughts that could maybe help you.

For the couples

Go figure all of this happens on our year, right?! Everyone already doubted I'd ever get married, and now the actual universe is trying to mess it up! but it's okay. We're resilient, and it's setting us up for some interesting things to tell our kids. It's also putting us through some marriage tests that others didn't face beforehand.

Making the decision is the hardest part, I think. Whether you decide to postpone, have a small celebration, or go through with everything as planned, I think the earlier you make the decision and stick with it, the better. At this point, I don't think anything is going to get better in 2020. We're stuck with what we have now. So whatever works for you, make it happen, accept it, and start finding ways to be excited about the new dreamy-day you have coming. Each decision comes with pros and cons, unfortunately... but once you know what is most important to you, stick with it and don't let people sway you. [Again, as long as it's what you want and you haven't already been swayed.] It should be a decision you make with your partner, not everyone around you.

Let's say you want to go through with it. Being married ASAP is the most important thing to you. It's your person and your date and your year and no one is going to change that! You can still make it a special ceremony and I've seen so many beautiful setups that can really inspire you. There are also so many articles and blogs and such of people saying having it be intimate was more meaningful than they could have imagined! You can stream it for people, or not. Throw a big party when all this unknown nonsense is over! You can also still invite everyone and have a socially distanced wedding with masks, too. I think the important thing is remembering that you're doing it for you, and the downside to this option is that you can't be selfish. A wedding day is one of the few times in life we're allowed to be selfish, but getting married in 2020 takes that pass right out of our hands. Some people will feel uncomfortable, and that's okay. Don't let it mess up any friendships or relationships. [I swore I'd never talk to anyone who didn't show up to my wedding but... guess I'll have to consider it.]

If you want to postpone, that gives you more time to get creative, DIY, save money, see if other vendors are better or cheaper! It also gives me entirely too much time to be looking at random things to buy and forget that I got them, but hopefully I can get that under control. I'd say this is the best option if the party is the biggest deal to you. For us, nothing is going to change with marriage. We already live together, have some combined finances, and I don't plan on changing my last name. So while I'd love to have that "I'm married" twinkle in my eye, I can wait for it.. and I can buy all sorts of retinol products to hopefully prevent any further wrinkling.

Elizabethany

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